Friday, February 5, 2010

Day 5

I'm heading into Day 5. To survive this journey, I'm pretty sure at this point that I have to stop seeing a finish line. I won't make it to the end...or I will make it to the end but I will have an awful journey if I keep waiting for the end. I realize I have to truly embrace the process of growth. Some classes will be awesome but a lot of them will feel difficult. I, at the very least, feel better physically than I did when I did my first 30-day challenge. It's also a bit effortless in that I am accountable to a whole studio seeing my stickers up on the board. If there are empty spots, that's embarrassing. When I did my solo 30-day, it was much tougher because I was accountable to really, only me. I told my teachers I was embarking on this challenge but I had a feeling they didn't believe in me all that much. Their care for my practice was hardly, if at all, there. In other words, if I wasn't feeling up to the challenge, I was only accountable to myself and very often I was so "kind" that I tried to convince my body it deserved a good sleep-in. I made it through but it was psychologically tougher. In this case I can turn my mind-chatter off because I KNOW I have to get to class.

Today, I go with no expectations even though I keep hoping, in the back of my head, that the next class will feel great. To no avail. It must be said, however, that after every class, I always feel amazing. If that's all I get through this whole process, then I'd say that's fantastic.

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