Day 27

I'm writing pre-class. I'm at Day 27 today and I'm ready for one day off. I can do the class alright but I don't wanna :) I wanted a cup of coffee today so bad not because I needed it but because I wanted it. However, it works against hydration so I thought better of it and resisted. I knew I would regret it during class and thankfully I can instantly draw to mind the feelings that "mid-class" conjure up. Today I could have kept sleeping for a long time but really, who enjoys that day in and day out? After a while, I just start feeling lazy. I'm not doing anything these days except the occasional audition and hot yoga every day. At least I've got the yoga to give me some direction in life. It is a life of leisure indeed but I don't think that's healthy for long periods of time. Perhaps I can look at it as I time of rejuvenation instead of constantly beating myself up. I would like to volunteer my services to doing charitable works but I don't where I should direct my energies. I think my church would be a good place to start because at least I would have an anchor of some kind. Anyways, those are my thoughts today pre-class -- scattered and lacking drive :)

Day 21

I ALMOST saw my toes in bow pose!!! I say "almost" with glee because the teacher was as excited as I was because it's just a matter of another class or two before I see them myself :) That is all.

Day 20

Things are looking good. I have made it successfully to Day 20 and the only thing bugging me is my IT band on left leg. I know the reason why (city walking) which makes for even less concern.

I love yoga. Bikram's yoga, to be specific. I feel really healthy and happy. I go through mood swings, sure, but that would happen anyways. I haven't taken any of my Chinese herbs today but I'm still feeling good. I suppose I should get back on those. They're just so tedious. I also just realized that I need to take my skin medication. Oops.

I'm feeling nice and strong and even limber in class. I have increased my flexibility in my lower back and hamstrings which -- you have no idea -- is so damn satisfying however minute a visible difference. I can feel the difference and I think you can see the difference. I'm grabbing my heels in forward bend and my strength is greater in my ankles and legs (and fingers) to be able to hold it longer. Each class I am able to hold poses for a little bit longer and a little bit longer and so on and so forth. I'm building a nice strong foundation for a lifetime of yoga. As I try to figure out if I will get a year membership or tri-monthly membership in June, I realize I need to just pay up so that I will always need to attend class; give myself no choice.

Day 17 of yoga, Day 1 of Lent

Going into Day 17. I'm feeling kinda neutral about it all. I had a tough class (once again) yesterday but made it through relatively easily. As always, I feel amazing after class. I was a tad on the tired side last night, however. I attribute that to dehydration. I tried to drink more than usual today. It's usually to no avail as I piss a ton of it out. Today, not so bad. I waited until 2pm to take my skin medication. I drank a lot more up until that point. I've tapered off and hope to see a difference in class today.

I realize the only thing that really drags me down in class is that damn heat. It's HOT! When the teacher gives a reprieve in the form of a draft from an open door, I can make it through all of the poses no problem. That's how I know it's the heat. I wonder if I would push myself more physically if the heat was less intolerable. I know, I know, that's the whole point of Bikram's yoga. It also protects my muscles and tendons from injury. I get that. I hope I get over it though.

It's also the first day of Lent. I'm off to a good start. I am in limbo though as far as what book to start off my Lenten reading. I have two books that interest me. Having just finished Teresa of Avila's autobiography, I want to read Therese of Lisieux next. With that, I'm eager to read Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. Mystical prayer is my primary focus these days, Christian mysticism, to be precise since that is what I feel most strongly called to, with the influence and knowledge of other forms of mystical prayer. I think those two would be a good start. In addition, Scriptural reading, of course.

Day 14

On the board at the studio, I am officially at Day 14 out of 30. To me, it's Day 19 but who's counting? Especially if I aspire to make this a 4-5X week practice. I went at 9:30am because my husband was playing hockey at 9:45am and it seemed like a good way to start my day. Well, boy, was I wrong. I had a good class. It's been two days in a row that I haven't drunk water in class. I get thirsty by the time we get to the gravity poses but I am able to stave it off until the end. I manage to consistently polish off 1.6L of water immediately after class, not to mention a ton more water throughout the rest of the day. I'm supposed to imbibe about half my weight in ounces, which would be about 1.75L. About a half hour later today, though, I was really dehydrated. I came home and slept for about 2 hours and would have kept sleeping if I hadn't forced myself to get up.

I guess this would be a normal hiccup in a 30-day-in-a-row process. But man, I am tired. I'm feeling more back to normal now but just took my skin medication which is a diuretic. I'm starting to think that might have to do with the difficulty of staying hydrated. I might call to get my dosage lowered if this dehydration continues.

RIP Nodar Kumaritashvili

I am so damn lazy today. I have on the Olympic pre-schtuff and some lentils and rice on the stove. I've got the USA Yoga Cup on live feed too. But I can't seem to motivate my ass to get to class. I will go to either the 6pm or the 8pm but not my usual 4pm. I have been a bit defeated each class because when I get to awkward pose, I am weak in my thigh muscles, particularly my quads. Why is that? Is it the skin medication I'm on? Is it because I sit around on my arse all day? Is it because I get too much sleep? Do I not drink enough water? What's the deal? Or could it be because I've been going to yoga for about 16 days in row (with one day off)? I dunno. I won't give up, that is for certain. I am quite enjoying myself and always feel amazing after class.

The most difficult part of my class is the decision to drink water or not to drink water. It's only 90 minutes. We are encouraged not to drink water. The difference I have noticed when I do drink water is that I get out of breath rather quickly and mess up my rhythm. Drinking water brings a temporary relief but usually disrupts the flow.

At this paragraph, it has been released that a luge competitor at the Olympics died tragically while training. It reminds me that life is precious but that one should never live in fear. This athlete died heroically, doing what most other people would never dare to do. Rest in Peace, Nodar Kumaritashvili.

Day 5

I'm heading into Day 5. To survive this journey, I'm pretty sure at this point that I have to stop seeing a finish line. I won't make it to the end...or I will make it to the end but I will have an awful journey if I keep waiting for the end. I realize I have to truly embrace the process of growth. Some classes will be awesome but a lot of them will feel difficult. I, at the very least, feel better physically than I did when I did my first 30-day challenge. It's also a bit effortless in that I am accountable to a whole studio seeing my stickers up on the board. If there are empty spots, that's embarrassing. When I did my solo 30-day, it was much tougher because I was accountable to really, only me. I told my teachers I was embarking on this challenge but I had a feeling they didn't believe in me all that much. Their care for my practice was hardly, if at all, there. In other words, if I wasn't feeling up to the challenge, I was only accountable to myself and very often I was so "kind" that I tried to convince my body it deserved a good sleep-in. I made it through but it was psychologically tougher. In this case I can turn my mind-chatter off because I KNOW I have to get to class.

Today, I go with no expectations even though I keep hoping, in the back of my head, that the next class will feel great. To no avail. It must be said, however, that after every class, I always feel amazing. If that's all I get through this whole process, then I'd say that's fantastic.

Day 1

I began again today. Today was Day 1 for a 30-day challenge at my studio. I am publicly accountable now to get my ass to yoga class every day for the next 29 days. Woot! I get my own little space on the board and I can put up my very own stickers. It's the little things in life.

Before class I ate a veggie hamburger 1-hour prior. It's not the best idea in the world. I always try to eat 2-hours beforehand at least. That way I don't feel the effects of the residual food in my stomach but I get some nutrition that sustains me for 90-minutes. If I eat any earlier I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be enough for me. Breakfast is the toughest meal for me to get down. I've never enjoyed breakfast. I have absolutely no appetite in the morning. My mother doesn't either so I'm of the opinion that it's genetic. I can drink tea and any other liquids in the morning but solids don't make my tummy happy. If I can get into a good breakfast habit, then perhaps my meals hold me for longer in the day.

An interesting thing that happened to me today, as well, was going to the dermatologist. I have had a bad bout with pimples for a long while now. As it turns out, I have acne. An adult form of acne that is the result of lowered estrogen (aging) and regular androgen (male hormone). Since the androgen hasn't lowered either, the result is deep-rooted acne. I just read an article about a woman who did a 60-day challenge in Bikram and by the end, when they did a body scan, she had early onset menopause at age 42. I wonder if lowered estrogen has any link to Bikram yoga. She never alluded to that in the article but her doctor pointed more to her obesity as the main factor.

It's just something to ponder...