Slowing Down

It's been a while once again. I'm not adjusting to this "other yoga" regimen. For some very odd reason, I can't bring myself to do the other forms of yoga. Instead, I don't do any. I'm a little miffed. My schedule throws me off and then I can't seem to adjust very well. But perhaps, I'm being too hard on myself. I have taken the time to journal and be with myself this time around, which is progress actually. Slowing down and not beating myself up for it is a miracle in and of itself. Eric can be a bit of a whirlwind/Tazmanian devil and I have to acknowledge that that's his own weakness and I don't need to feel bad about slowing down every once in a while. I am always excited to go back to my yoga though. I'm eternally grateful that I signed up for the year. I know I belong to a studio and must go back. Love it!

Just Breathe

I made it to an 8pm class last night. And it was a good one. Finally. I always forget that breath will make it all right. Last night, the instructor made a point throughout class of reminding us to slow down our exhales. I realized that visualizing cold and rain and cooling images only makes the heat more unbearable. Rather, staying present in the hot room and focusing on the relief that the breath brings is far more satisfying. After class, my instructor said I had a strong practice which of course, was encouraging since I always feel like I'm constantly starting over. I'm looking forward to another class tomorrow.

Alas...

Alas, I did not make it today. Instead, I sit up late at night writing my blog about yoga -- that I never practice. However we know I write this so that I stay accountable. I encourage myself through these ramblings.

I'm technically supposed to cease Bikram for the week. According to my yoga earth mother, Andrea, it's blood boiling time. Argh. This one year membership thing is off to a bad start. I'm still saving money no matter what. I WILL make it worth it, damn it! It's at least satisfying to belong to a yoga studio. I love it, in fact. A studio that is my own. It's new and shiny too. It's not old and smelly like my other studio. Now, I did love my former studio but I know I'm learning the Bikram method far more accurately and thoroughly at this new studio. The teachers are fresh from teacher training and they spew out the dialogue so swiftly and deftly. I have learned so much in the few days I've been there compared to the gradual knowledge I've gained at the other studio.

The reason I didn't make it today was because I felt like I needed one more day to recuperate from my crazy week and weekend. I never really recovered from the chaos and knew that my body wasn't up for the challenge. When I looked at my calendar, it indicated that today was when I should stop Bikram. But I saw that after I decided not to go. A lovely coincidence. Eric and I, instead, played tennis at our "club"; a nice set of 4 courts where we pay membership for the comfortable weather months, i.e. May-November.

Well, hopefully I make some kind of yoga class tomorrow!

Hope Springs Eternal

To practice or not to practice? Argh. I'm battling with my tired self. I want to do some yoga since I've missed over a week. I'm looking forward to it but dreading the "first day back". I think my new challenge is to not care because I have a feeling I'm going to be having a LOT of "first days back". It's just the way it is with my lifestyle.

Anyways, just wanted to check in with myself. I hope I make it tonight. I hope, I hope, I hope.

Slow But Sure

It has certainly been a while. I got scared off after my last class. Well, that and I had to go to Alberta for the week and then shoot all day yesterday here in Toronto. I had such a bad class though that last Sunday. But it's an adjustment according to Anne, my wellness therapist. I just have to cope and get through it. Cool. I can do that. The main thing is to listen to my body. Obey my body. Love my body.

I will go back on Monday. I have to work all day tomorrow at the restaurant. I gave my notice at the restaurant; meaning I have two weeks left. I'm not even scheduled to work next week. By giving my notice (which is affordable now!), it will allow me to travel to Long Island to see family, go to Montréal with Eric and maybe even L.A. However, I would like to make Bikram yoga a regular thing as well. I gotta get back on track. It will take some adjusting with my new diet but I will get there. I will persevere and all will be right again! I'm resisting the urge to eat stuff right now though. Can I do it? I'm not entirely sure. There isn't much to eat in the house. Maybe I can do it. There is a tranquility in not eating and chilling out. I know it would go well with the yoga. The two would support each other quite nicely. Slowly but surely I will get there.

It's Cool

Brutal. I nearly rested in class today. I fought it long and hard though and won the battle. I didn't eat enough today. Tomorrow I plan on going to the 3pm class. However, I have a 12pm appointment that will get out around 2pm. Not sure if I'll have an opportunity to have much to eat before class. I hope so because I am not enjoying being weak in these classes. It's much more satisfying and confidence-boosting to be strong and alive not limp and nearly dead. I made it though as difficult as it was. I have made it through every pose since the one day I didn't.

But it still feels neat to belong to a yoga studio, I mean, belong. I was telling Eric I can invest so much more of myself in the teachers and other students that I meet. It's cool and I like it!

One Whole Year!

I did it! I signed up for a whole year of yoga! This is the first time I've ever done this. It's a little crazy but I am so excited. It means I don't have to think about when my membership is up or when my class card runs out. I just show up and they know me. I'm going today at 4pm. I'm excited to be surrounded by the true Bikram experience. Perhaps I won't like it after a year but I have a funny feeling I will enjoy it thoroughly. I'm curious to know if it will be difficult to go there if my show gets big and therefore makes me more recognizable. I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get to it. No big deal. I'm sure people will be respectful. It will make me more conscious of being kind to others. I will have a reputation to maintain. It's good to have an impetus for kindness because sometimes it can be hard to keep up either because of a bad mood or laziness. We all know how it is.

I'm still feeling sore from class, not yesterday but from the day before. Yesterday I had to run all over the city trying to get ready for a "casual" party at CTV. It ended up being a lot of fun, more fun than I thought it would be. Everybody was in a good mood and just riding on the good vibes. My cast and writers were celebrating the show getting picked up. We didn't have to stress too much about interviews, etc. Or maybe they did, but I missed them since I came about an hour later than the start time.

It will be an interesting and hopefully great experience trying to balance my work schedule with yoga. I'm thrilled for the challenge. I want to become a morning person too and I know yoga will help that process. I will have to re-evaluate my love of coffee though. I think what I need to do is turn it into a treat rather than a means to waking up. Creature comforts never help when you're trying to roll with whatever challenges pop up because usually if there's a challenge, then that means there's no creature comforts at arm's length and therefore makes said challenge very uncomfortable. That's my advice of the day.

And now, off to yoga!

Inspiration

Yup. I dig the new studio. It's big. The showers are sweet (and private) with great soap. The floors are all either laminate or tile. The teachers are all really good. The change rooms have separate stations for sinks and for blowdrying your hair (with really nice dryers too). I'm going for the yearly membership which is huge for me. But I want to focus on Bikram and this studio will provide an amazing environment for doing so. They even sell Shakti yoga wear, which I think is HOT!

Anyways, I made it today having not made it since Saturday. That has sucked. So, needless to say, both Saturday and today have hurt pretty bad. Add to the pain, the excitement of my TV series getting picked up. Yes, it got picked up! It's super exciting because I've never been part of something like this. The feeling was euphoric, to say the very, very least. To go along with the euphoria, I drank a lot of alcohol (well, not really a lot but a lot for me) and it made me really dehydrated and frankly, constipated. I was in so much pain this morning. I'm pretty sure I have a mild case of IBS. I got all excited and then my tummy fought back. I know if I go to yoga more often, all will be right again. It always gets better since I've had this issue in the past.

One noteworthy thing for anyone reading this (if there is), when feeling a lack of love for hot yoga, especially after a tough class, go to a hot yoga forum or a Bikram website and read people's testimonials. They are usually inspiring and give you just the boost you need to go back for more. I get hooked reading about teachers or other practitioners who's lives have been transformed by, not only yoga, but Bikram's yoga specifically.

Tomorrow, I will attempt a 9am class. Yikes.