I'm back! I went yesterday and today and though I am sore and extremely tired, I am content. I thought it would be really hard going back yesterday but a friend of mine was there and that lifted my spirits a bit and distracted me. I had a really strong practice both days. I am no longer concerned about my teacher's opinions of my practice. I am just happy to be doing my body good.
I told myself to take it easy. That was the first thing I did right in coming back after 7 days of illness. Then when I felt like I could go further in my poses, I did and it felt awesome. My standing poses were pretty strong. My legs didn't lose strength like I thought they would. They're a little sore but nothing crazy. My hips were happy since I had been stretching them in weird ways but I know they need those stretches. I haven't done full toe stand on my left side yet. I'm not going to aggravate that IT band. It's so finicky. I'm tightening my bum as much as possible, especially on the floor during uphill poses and I'm still aware that my ab muscles are becoming more defined. The only thing I think I need to focus on the most or is the most important is stretching my lower back and extending it so my hips tilt forward. I'm just really tight or inflexible in my lower back (really curved) and my hips therefore have difficulty tilting forward. I think you get the idea. Slowly but surely, I'm starting to see this said tilt and I'm slowly starting to uncurve my lower back.
I can't shake the fatigue today though. I think that has something to do with not sleeping well at all last night. I got stuck in a bad dream cycle and couldn't get out of it. I took a nap but I'm still really tired. Tomorrow I rest.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I Love Ya...
Okay. Today I'm FINALLY feeling like my old self. The pubescent boy seems to be slowly leaving my body and I am glad of it. My head is still clogged but my spirits are higher. They could be perhaps because the window in the living room is open and the fresh air is seeping in and leaving a deliciously fresh scent in the room. I also just lit a new sprig of my Nag Champa incense. Spring is sproinging. And oh yeah, the clocks moved ahead an hour. Luckily I didn't have to be up at any particular hour so I was cool with that. I'm looking forward to the light at the end of the day. However, today is somewhat overcast. I got out early (what would have been 11am but was actually 12pm) and got some groceries. I washed the dishes and set about my leisurely day.
I am reading St. Augustine's The Confessions for Lent. I am reading with a skeptical mind so that I'm not reading like my old self which succumbed to some inner Catholic guilt that would normally propel me into having to believe every single word written by a Catholic saint or else I would go to Hell. Instead, I want to come from a genuine place of belief. It's one thing to buy every word and spit it back out without giving a thought to it's meaning and it's quite another to understand and believe. If I don't believe some of his words, I'm not afraid to question them. The cool thing is that my question has usually been answered in some later passage. But if it's not, I'm okay with the questions remaining within me. I know God will answer them even if not for a very long time.
I've used this week as a means to listen to Augustine's words. It's been some serious down time for me which I think I needed. Mentally, I found myself able to focus on each task at hand because I was so foggy. I know that sounds weird. What I mean is that I was able to concentrate on the one thing I was doing and not on the million things that usually cloud my mind when I'm healthy. So, when reading Augustine, the words have sunk in. When watching the play yesterday, I was there 100%. When looking around in the furniture stores yesterday, I was looking at each piece as if I were in a museum. It's been a sort of tunnel vision. I have appreciated my week "off". It has been a much needed vacation.
Tomorrow, I am back with my yoga. It's calling my name pretty loud. I can't wait!
I am reading St. Augustine's The Confessions for Lent. I am reading with a skeptical mind so that I'm not reading like my old self which succumbed to some inner Catholic guilt that would normally propel me into having to believe every single word written by a Catholic saint or else I would go to Hell. Instead, I want to come from a genuine place of belief. It's one thing to buy every word and spit it back out without giving a thought to it's meaning and it's quite another to understand and believe. If I don't believe some of his words, I'm not afraid to question them. The cool thing is that my question has usually been answered in some later passage. But if it's not, I'm okay with the questions remaining within me. I know God will answer them even if not for a very long time.
I've used this week as a means to listen to Augustine's words. It's been some serious down time for me which I think I needed. Mentally, I found myself able to focus on each task at hand because I was so foggy. I know that sounds weird. What I mean is that I was able to concentrate on the one thing I was doing and not on the million things that usually cloud my mind when I'm healthy. So, when reading Augustine, the words have sunk in. When watching the play yesterday, I was there 100%. When looking around in the furniture stores yesterday, I was looking at each piece as if I were in a museum. It's been a sort of tunnel vision. I have appreciated my week "off". It has been a much needed vacation.
Tomorrow, I am back with my yoga. It's calling my name pretty loud. I can't wait!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
'Tis nobler...
Alright, so it's been 6 days and will be 7 days that I have officially missed. This is torture. But at least I know I'm craving to get back to the studio once I feel able. I have gone from feeling like I have the flu to having a super congested head to now having laryngitis.
I can't believe the laryngitis. I went to work last night since I missed one shift already and wasn't about to miss a Friday night money shift. I was fine despite being really congested and practically deaf from all the stuffiness but I was fine. By the end of the shift I started sounding like a prepubescent boy. I went to a play this afternoon and crawled around rainy Toronto beforehand, popping in and out of shops since I had no umbrella. I know, how stupid can a sick person get? I guess pretty stupid.
Today I sound like a boy in the full throws of puberty. I wonder if I am going to lose my voice altogether. I can feel it all in my chest; heavy and burning a little. I bought Nim Joim, the Chinese herbal cough syrup/expectorant. It's all natural and supposedly awesome. I had a cup of hot water mixed with this syrup and it tasted great! I'm going to have two or three more cups throughout the night and hope for the best.
But with this whole chest thing I realized I shouldn't go to yoga. I'm even bowing out of going to my friend's birthday party tonight so that I don't spread the germs to all the guests (all of whom are performers in some capacity and probably wouldn't appreciate getting laryngitis from me). Actually, I'm not sure if you can catch laryngitis but you can certainly catch the germs that cause it. Apparently, certain people are more prone to getting it than others. I am definitely one of those people. I would normally be pretty panicky about this sort of illness but I have no jobs booked for next week or the next as far as I know, so this should pass in a few days I hope. I will definitely make it back to class by Monday after resting all night tonight and tomorrow all day and night. I was of the mind that perhaps hot yoga would help to clear up the congestion but it wouldn't be fair to my fellow classmates to spread those germs so carelessly. It's much more noble to be thoughtful of your fellow human beings and the effect you may have on them rather than "suffering" out in the wide open for everyone to see. The result of the "suffering" is more suffering as your fellow human beings catch your cold and lose several days of work/play too. It's far more noble to tuck one's troubles into the safety of one's home and hide there until the coast is clear.
UGH! I am suffering though by not doing my yoga!
I can't believe the laryngitis. I went to work last night since I missed one shift already and wasn't about to miss a Friday night money shift. I was fine despite being really congested and practically deaf from all the stuffiness but I was fine. By the end of the shift I started sounding like a prepubescent boy. I went to a play this afternoon and crawled around rainy Toronto beforehand, popping in and out of shops since I had no umbrella. I know, how stupid can a sick person get? I guess pretty stupid.
Today I sound like a boy in the full throws of puberty. I wonder if I am going to lose my voice altogether. I can feel it all in my chest; heavy and burning a little. I bought Nim Joim, the Chinese herbal cough syrup/expectorant. It's all natural and supposedly awesome. I had a cup of hot water mixed with this syrup and it tasted great! I'm going to have two or three more cups throughout the night and hope for the best.
But with this whole chest thing I realized I shouldn't go to yoga. I'm even bowing out of going to my friend's birthday party tonight so that I don't spread the germs to all the guests (all of whom are performers in some capacity and probably wouldn't appreciate getting laryngitis from me). Actually, I'm not sure if you can catch laryngitis but you can certainly catch the germs that cause it. Apparently, certain people are more prone to getting it than others. I am definitely one of those people. I would normally be pretty panicky about this sort of illness but I have no jobs booked for next week or the next as far as I know, so this should pass in a few days I hope. I will definitely make it back to class by Monday after resting all night tonight and tomorrow all day and night. I was of the mind that perhaps hot yoga would help to clear up the congestion but it wouldn't be fair to my fellow classmates to spread those germs so carelessly. It's much more noble to be thoughtful of your fellow human beings and the effect you may have on them rather than "suffering" out in the wide open for everyone to see. The result of the "suffering" is more suffering as your fellow human beings catch your cold and lose several days of work/play too. It's far more noble to tuck one's troubles into the safety of one's home and hide there until the coast is clear.
UGH! I am suffering though by not doing my yoga!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Man down!
I'm hanging in there. I can't believe I have to miss another day of yoga. My head is so full and my body feels so run down, I just need to sleep the day away. I'm not falling off this wagon though. I will be doing yoga for the rest of my life. This is a minor speedbump aimed at making sure I take life easy. It's not about getting to the finish line fast. It's about enjoying each moment as it arrives. Yoga is meant to help me create a greater and more beautiful union with God. How could I fall off that kind of wagon? It pretty much seems impossible.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
*Cough, Cough, Sniffle, Sniffle*
Here I am, sick again. It sucks but what're ya gonna do? I haven't laid myself out for the rest of the day yet but I'm planning on it. I rested all day yesterday and today I hope to do the same. I had an audition this morning, got some groceries and am home for the rest of the day. It's just a head cold but I can tell my body is still really run down. I seriously thought about going to yoga yesterday to squeeze out the toxins but my husband would have none of it. He was right. I feel far better than I would have if I'd gone to yoga and work last night. It's tough to know deep down that my body will hurt when I go back to my practice but c'est la vie! It's a good lesson for this Lenten season. Tomorrow I have a callback for a commercial so I will sleep the day and night away and hopefully nail the callback. Then, perhaps, I will go to a class in the afternoon. We shall see. I also don't know if I want to put other people at risk by exposing them to my cold. But if Bikram yoga does what it is supposed to do, then everyone will simply repel my cold with all of the sweating and squeezing of toxins. Hmmm...something to ponder.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sicky McSicky
Well, even though I was going to have my 1 day off today, I may just be having a few days off. I have a bloody bug of some kind, either cold or flu, can't tell at this early stage. I'm laying low and might even call in sick to work tonight. We'll see. Tomorrow I have an audition in the morning. Not that big of a deal but still, might need my beauty sleep. The biggest obstacle will be keeping my spirits up despite missing a few days of practice. I can't get discouraged as though I'll never do yoga again, which would have been my attitude in the past. I am really trying to make this Lent worthwhile and nurture my relationship with God. I know it is capable of being a relationship that I can turn to when I'm feeling like I'll never make it to a yoga class again. I know it sounds like a silly "despair" but it really has been a problem in the past where I have dropped activities because I feel like I'm no good at them or I simply fall off the fitness wagon and never get back on again.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Booze and Caffeine
Another good solid morning practice. I woke up an hour and a half before class, had 3 8oz. glasses of water and no food (as per my teacher's recommendation). I always feel amazing when I've had only water and no food. The only drawback is having to pee a million times before or once during class, like today. I ran out between standing and lying down poses. I managed to get back in time for a little bit of savasana. I stayed on the cooler side of the room. I still managed to sweat a decent amount but I wasn't pouring sweat.
As for my poses, my standing head to knee was solid once again. It even rendered a compliment from my teacher. Speaking of teacher compliments, I know I'm getting better at focusing when I can receive a compliment during the pose and not fall out of it anymore. It's a grain of salt now. After that, my bow pose, especially on my left side, was pretty awesome. It was about half as open as the photo below (that's a standing bow, if you didn't already know) which is great for me. I could see my ankle above my head instead of just my foot. That's how I know I'm progressing. I laid off on toe stand today. I thought I'd give my knees a break. They will probably thank me in the morning. On the floor, nothing spectacular changed except that my hips were tilting forward in sitting head to knee (finally!), according to my teacher, which meant I could start bending my arms and pulling forward. F*#%, that pose hurts a lot but it's one I have to do religiously.
I thought maybe I would give up coffee and alcohol when I started hot yoga. But I actually will get through my morning classes knowing my coffee will be my reward. As for alcohol, I find I'm enjoying beer instead of wine, probably because my muscles are craving it. I don't drink more than a glass or two when I go out and if I do have more than two, I'm completely cranky and hungover the next day. Weird. I guess I'm what you would call, "in shape." Again, weird.
As for my poses, my standing head to knee was solid once again. It even rendered a compliment from my teacher. Speaking of teacher compliments, I know I'm getting better at focusing when I can receive a compliment during the pose and not fall out of it anymore. It's a grain of salt now. After that, my bow pose, especially on my left side, was pretty awesome. It was about half as open as the photo below (that's a standing bow, if you didn't already know) which is great for me. I could see my ankle above my head instead of just my foot. That's how I know I'm progressing. I laid off on toe stand today. I thought I'd give my knees a break. They will probably thank me in the morning. On the floor, nothing spectacular changed except that my hips were tilting forward in sitting head to knee (finally!), according to my teacher, which meant I could start bending my arms and pulling forward. F*#%, that pose hurts a lot but it's one I have to do religiously.
I thought maybe I would give up coffee and alcohol when I started hot yoga. But I actually will get through my morning classes knowing my coffee will be my reward. As for alcohol, I find I'm enjoying beer instead of wine, probably because my muscles are craving it. I don't drink more than a glass or two when I go out and if I do have more than two, I'm completely cranky and hungover the next day. Weird. I guess I'm what you would call, "in shape." Again, weird.
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