Trial

It's been a tough week for me. I opened a play this week that got panned in the major newspaper here in town and will therefore, as was indicated last night, mean no audience.

I take comfort that if it weren't for my God and my yoga, I would be a wreck right now. I'm pretty sad that the reviewer was downright mean to our production and us but I forgive him. Destructive people, I'm pretty sure, don't know how destructive they are or else I'd like to think that they wouldn't do it. Or maybe this reviewer gets off on crushing young companies and actors. One of my friends was humiliated by the same reviewer when she made her Toronto debut. Her debut! He could have ruined her career/self-esteem if she hadn't been so tough. I hope I can learn from her and carry on as thick-skinned as she did. I, afterall, was making my Toronto debut as well.

I went to yoga on Monday and reveled in my inner strength (as well as outer) when so many, many people in the class were dropping like flies onto their mats from the heat and whatever else was plaguing their minds. That was the day before my opening night. Now, post-bad review, I am going to class today. I am managing to put the review (and, really, the show) behind me and to focus on yoga and prayer. This bad review has made me really evaluate my desire to keep acting. If it weren't for the upcoming TV show, which I feel tremendous about, I think I might find another career. However, Shakespeare's words have flowed trippingly off my tongue and that, alone, I have enjoyed immensely. I have found mantra and flow within the words. I was terrified of forgetting my lines back before I began this journey. I now have them so well memorized that I can savour each word and play with each one so that they have become my own. That is a treasure I can take away from this experience. Now add that to my God and my yoga and I am a content human being. Not happy...but content.