Sweet and Light

I'm off to class in about an hour. The 6 o'clock class is a tough one because it's crowded. I had a good class the other day though and intend on a good one today. It's all about the breath. Surprisingly, for not having done yoga in a week, I was still strong. I was even asked to demonstrate standing bow for the class. I couldn't believe it. But there I was, probably showing off too much of my nether region because my shorts were loose. Luckily, it was all women.

My new diet is going along rather well. Not awesome but well. Last night I sowed on my rice crackers. I plan on not shopping for any more groceries if I can help it so I can't sow tonight. I've been eating lots of lentils, rice and greens. In fact, I'm going to go brew another batch of that stuff now so I have enough energy for class. I had a decaf coffee and a donut today. Definitely doesn't fit into my new diet plan but I can't torture myself afterall!

The Journey to Clean!

I'm on Day 3 of a liver cleanse. I thought maybe I could make it to a class this week but I think it's better to lay low. Maybe today I'll do some yoga poses just not full on Bikram. It was really difficult on my first day and night. I had a really bad headache but I managed to ride it out and actually survived a headache without buckling to the pressures of ibuprofen. I actually can't believe I did that. I don't know if I've ever rode a headache out and I've had a LOT of headaches in my time. My dilemma right now is will power. To eat stuff or not to eat stuff? Well, obviously I shouldn't be eating stuff. And I won't. I've made it this far. Tomorrow is my last day. It's luckily a short cleanse. I don't think I could do more than 4 days and plus I think it's really bad for your body to mess with it's metabolism. I feel lethargic today. I plan on doing nothing today. I need to lay low and avoid temptation therefore I'm going to remain at home.

Saturday I plan on going back to yoga. I'm looking forward to feeling the results. I think, based on past classes, my new diet has assisted in making my classes strong. I have come out of each class, since eating more healthy, feeling great. I hope my desires for shitty foods leaves my system. I am sorely tempted or was sorely tempted last night to eat chicken wings and drink beer. However, when we were at the bar for a friend's birthday party, I was content to be drinking tea and not imbibing alcohol. I'm curious as to how to become this healthy, yoga-practicing, macrobiotic-eating individual and not feel like a superior SOB who thinks other people are unhealthy. I want to be anything but. BUT I want to be personally healthy without succumbing to temptations and if and when I do, not succumb to guilt and beat myself up. It's an interesting journey and I KNOW yoga will help in that after every class I feel awesome and have no desire for poopy foods.

Clean and Clear

I bailed on class yesterday. It was for good, lazy reasons. I didn't want to go to yoga. I wanted to just enjoy my Sunday. And I did. I drank my coffee out back and enjoyed the lovely air. Then we went to get some new kitty litter. Then we went to Kensington Market and went crazy shopping for bulk foods. At $79, I scored a lot of food and tea, etc. We grabbed some greens on the way home and tomorrow I'm going to start a liver cleanse. Tonight, however, I'm going to go to yoga fer sure. I might take class during my cleanse and just take it easy since it is a cleanse and I really shouldn't do anything too physically crazy.

Having bought my one-year membership is really psychologically disconcerting. I wish I hadn't and yet I'm really glad I did. The reason I wish I hadn't is because of what it supposedly does to my face. I'm not so sure I agree. I think my diet will help even things out. Therefore, I'm going to plow through Bikram yoga this week even though I'm supposed to stop a week before my period. We'll see how things go.

I figured out I might be allergic to mangoes today. I hardly have this reaction but it made my tongue sore and puffy. It still is. Argh. I love mangoes.

God is Love

I had a good class on Thursday. I went to the 8pm class. I made it through despite some of the less fortunate, coughing, sighing and hefty breathing souls there. My breath is what makes me strong. That and consistency. Going frequently combined with a thoughtful practice makes for strong classes every time. They will feel different, for sure, but they will all be strong. I know it. The breath supports sanity and keeps the mind from letting "the censor" take over aka the demons. I know why the Christian religion teaches about the devil now. It's not to scare us, it's to remind us that we can have control over those demons and take back the love and positivity that God has to offer at all times. God is love and the devil doesn't deserve our attention, in the negative sense. He deserves attention so that we can become aware of those times that he's trying to take over. That's when you stop and let only positive thoughts in.

My diet is slowly adjusting to this new vegan plan. Like I said earlier, I probably won't cut out meat altogether but I'm certainly not opposed to eating a mostly vegan diet. It does honestly feel good. I haven't fallen into a negative place in a while. Granted, I don't work at the restaurant anymore so that immediately cut out a lot of negativity in my life. I was just doing it to make extra money. Part of me still feels guilt for sitting around and not working there, making some extra dough before I go on my various vacations. But another part of me feels great not being there. I'm more positive, doing my yoga, going to a few auditions, dabbling with new recipes and gardening. I'm also able to go to bed early on a consistent basis and not prone to eating the bad foods there at the worst possible hours. My life is no longer toxic. I'm taking this time for me. I'm changing myself slowly but surely and this time right now, is the time to do it. I thank God for this blessing and this time to detoxify and recuperate.

Tomorrow I plan on an 11am yoga class.

Skinny and Pimply

I'm heading off to yoga tonight. Actually, in an hour. I'm going to the 6pm class and then to my husband's comedy show. I need the class. We've been spending a lot of money lately, accidently and on purpose so I need to vent. Yoga and actually, any form of exercise is great for that exact thing: venting. It's an outlet. It clears the mind and allows in fresh thoughts and positivity. I am aiming for just that.

I am sore today from two days ago. I'm figuring to make at least 4 classes a week. I'm strengthening still so maybe just 4 is perfect. That way I have a day to rest my muscles and rebuild them. I want results. I WANT them! I want to be a bit meatier. But I might just have to live with a little body. However, I know, with the power of positive thinking, I can look and feel exactly how I want to. My skin has been a problem for a while now and I'm ready to start sending out positive vibes for it's sake. I've been neglecting the positive vibes for my skin and focusing on the negative only. But I know now that The Secret works. It's time to apply it to the things that cause me anguish, like my skin and my skinny body.

New Diet, New Yoga

I'm back in my practice and pretty effortlessly too. I wonder that I needed the break. I've been taking lots of Chinese herbs as well as changing my diet to a more cooked vegan style, though I'm by no means a vegetarian. I used to be but I think I will maintain a bit of meat and fish in my diet so it won't be so jarring to my system when I go out to eat or visit my mother (who is a staunch meat-eater). I've been eating lots of lentils, veggies, sea veggies and RICE. LOTS OF RICE. That's the base of all my dishes now. The clinic I go to for acupuncture, etc. advises me on this diet, encouraging no meat consumption so that I don't take on the bad energy of a dead animal and so that I don't have meat rotting in my intestines. Gross, I know but the latter part is valid. Right now I'm eating a bowl of Jasmine rice, "build blood stew" and lentils made with Nori seaweed. It's a very Asian diet. I'm open to it because it suits me. It's easy to eat and digest and I'm probably one of the worst eaters around. You just prepare all this food ahead of time and it lasts forever. I eat small meals frequently (or at least, I'm trying to).

I'm drinking lots of tea, i.e. nettles, red raspberry leaf, earl grey, maté, chamomile, etc. I mix the loose leaves with two teaspoons of raw cane sugar and vanilla soy milk and I'm laughing. It's delicious and I drink lots.

I've also been working on changing my sleeping habits. My goal, by the end of the summer, is to be a morning person so that waking up for early call times for the series won't hurt so bad :) Part of changing those patterns (according to my wellness therapist) is to bring all the lights down around 9:30-10pm and aim to be asleep before midnight. To aid in sleeping, she encourages lavendar baths and meditation. I just bought some specific crystals to help with meditation and sleeping and general health and wellbeing. I'm not sure if I believe in it entirely, but I think even the placebo effect is just as valuable. It's about sending out and receiving good brain vibes, right? So what does it matter if crystals work or don't work? It's the thought that counts (lol).